Pop tarts...

...come with cooking directions which is one minute in a vertical toaster. As an alternative, it says on the box you can stick one in a microwave for 3 seconds. If a person cannot spare ONE minute in his morning to brown a poptart, he might want to think about loosening up his schedule. Just sayin'.

Sunglasses indoors

I don't understand sunglasses indoors. Professional entertainers love 'em. Cool athletes love 'em. I've heard Bill Cosby has a sensitivity to light and I totally get that. Absent an eye problem, sunglasses indoors seem pretentious to me. If that is the ultimate goal, we need to aim higher.